So what was radiation like? It wasn't terrible but it wasn't without its side effects. It itched and burned but I know that I had it good compared to many other people who have gone through radiation. I did not have blisters or bad pain. The fatigue is for real, though. The nurse told me that most people describe it as feeling like you've hit a wall. I found this to be true. I'd be fine and then I'd be so tired I'd want to crawl into bed.
I really had very few side effects for the first 2-3 weeks of treatment but, in return, I am having them even though I am done. For example, even though I was done on Tuesday of this week, I was so tired this entire week and I could tell my mind wasn't quite right. I couldn't remember things and just didn't feel as sharp as usual. The last week of my radiation was something they call a "booster". They just do radiation on a specific area. They focused on the lower half of my breast where the majority of the tumor was located.
I felt a lot of emotions this week. I was so focused on finishing radiation that, when I was finally done, I felt a little lost. Like, what do I do now? I have a lot of work projects I need to get done and I was really scattered, not sure where to start or what to tackle first. So I decided to start by cleaning off my desk and re-doing my to-do list. It felt good to get organized. No one at work is putting this pressure on me, except me. Do I hit the diet really hard again? Do I try to go even harder at the gym? No. I'm not quite ready for that. I'm just going to take it slow and see how I feel.
I've read a lot about how finishing cancer treatment gives a lot of people anxiety. The daily grind of doctors' appointments, etc. makes cancer patients feel like they have some control over the situation. When that's gone, it's hard. I'm not sure that I feel that yet. I am still going to physical therapy. And, I still have two reconstruction surgeries to look forward to. I'll let you know how I'm feeling in a few weeks. Right now, I am just focusing on making it to the gym and work until my sister's wedding.
Megan's wedding is in Seattle on August 5. After that I see my oncologist to talk about follow up care and then I see my plastic surgeon to plot out our next steps there. My other surgeon said that her next step for me is to do a mammogram on my left breast in October/before they do a lift on it. Since I have triple negative cancer, there is no hormone therapy available to keep the cancer away. A ton of research is going into triple negative breast cancer right now so there may be new treatments discovered in the very near future or maybe I can participate in a clinical trial. I guess we'll see.
Again, thank you to all of you reading this who have sent me so much love and given me so much support. I'm very grateful.
Here's some pics.
These photos were taken July 15. I had just two more treatments left at this point. (No more radiation tattoos. Now they use permanent marker and put stickers over the top.) I thought it was really strange that I had a "burn" on top of my shoulder but my radiation oncologist said that that is where the skin folds when you place your hand on top of your head to get into position to get radiation. The radiation beam comes through your armpit.
These were taken today, July 23. My skin looks a lot better and is healing nicely.
These photos were taken from the day I completed radiation. The doctors, nurses and techs at Hoag were fantastic. Some days they let me pick the music and I went with 80s heavy metal and grunge. They said that I was the first person to request either of those genres of music.
This is my friend, Nadya. Her sisters belong to our CrossFit gym. As soon as they found out I had cancer, they put me in touch with Nadya. She was about a month a head of me in treatment. She sent me texts and flowers and was just an all-around awesome person to me through this whole ordeal.
Here are some shots from Megan and Igor's shower-bachelor-bachelorette weekend. When I look back at it, I have no idea where I found the energy to party like a slightly older rock star. I know I drank a lot of coffee. Also, it is really hot in Las Vegas. (Sorry I covered up your faces, Amanda and Susan.) Also, I think this suit covers up my uneven boobs, nicely. Couldn't get my boobs wet so I had to stay on that step.
