As I walked home from Target this morning, tears and snot (of course!) were streaming down my face. I didn't even realize it at first.
As you might imagine, when you are waiting for test results to find out if you have cancer and then when you are diagnosed with cancer, you have a lot of thoughts about living and dying. My coworker, Justin S., asked me if there were things I wanted to do with my life that I hadn't done yet. He told me he thought I was funny and that maybe I should try stand-up comedy. You should just go for it, he said. I told him, actually my life is pretty good. And stand-up comedy is way harder than it looks! I've done a ton of things that I have always wanted to do. Sure, there are so many things that I still want to do but think about this. I got to tell Ryan Braun that I loved him while he had his arm around me while standing on the field at Dodger Stadium this year.
And, anyway, I don't plan on dying any time soon.
Why was I crying today? Because I live across the street from Target and this morning I got a cup of coffee and slowly wondered around the store. I bought myself a new shirt and some cleaning supplies. And then I walked home in the sunshine and 70 degree weather. And I cried because the sunshine felt good and I like my new shirt. And because I can't wait to scrub toilets with my new toilet wand. OK, maybe not that.
And because .... on Thanksgiving, my co-worker Justin E. and his wife, Laura, had us over for Thanksgiving dinner just because they knew Seth and I have no family in the area. Laura was diagnosed with breast cancer last year right before they got married. And just because she knows what it's like and because my hair is falling out, Laura has insisted on ordering me some hats. We had to measure my head.
And because ... my freshman (high school) comp teacher and his wife sent me a card the other day. I probably never said this but I would not be the writer I am today without Mr. Holle. I use those writing fundamentals almost every day.
And because ... my Ladies of Cobra Kai teammates (my softball team back in MN) sent me a care package.
And because .... my friends at Timberwolf CrossFit sent coffee and cards and so many well wishes.
And because .... my new friends at Orange Coast CrossFit hug me when they see me and make me feel happy every time I show up. Also, I did a pull-up. (I found a post-it in my desk the other day with 2016 CrossFit goals that I wrote in January. Pull-ups and toes-to-bar were on the list and I can do both now. I did three toes-to-bar in a row the other day.)
And because ... I have so many friends that just text and call to check up on me. Just to see how I'm feeling. And the cards, the awesome, funny cards keep rolling in. And all the Facebook messages are so wonderful and awesome. And the Rhude family from my high school basketball days!
And because ... my family checks up on me and I always feel the strength behind their messages. Keep sending me those cute pics of your kids. No, I am not sick of them.
And because ... Seth continues to make fun of me everyday and is an absolute rock. There is no one I would rather have by my side.
Much love to you all. Thank you for supporting me through this. I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving.
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